burnout & perfectionism; how are they related
what is burnouT?
Burnout can impact anyone; career driven professionals, students, caregivers and parents. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. It often results from feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. Over time, burnout can drain energy and cause exhaustion, reduce productivity and lead to feeling powerless and empty, generally negative towards oneself and their life circumstances.
What does burnout look like?
Physical Symptoms: Fatigue, headaches, stomach or bowel problems, muscle pain or other physical complaints with no known cause
Emotional Symptoms: Feeling detached from work and the people you work with, hopeless, not feeling valued at work, unmotivated and difficulty focusing, doubting your skills or abilities, experiencing little satisfaction from completing job tasks and disappointment from job, irritable.
Behavioral Symptoms: Withdrawing from responsibilities, procrastination, decreased performance, interpersonal challenges with colleagues/manager, changes in sleep, or using substances to cope.
Common Causes of burnout:
Work-related stress: Heavy workload, long hours, lack of control, or toxic work environments.
Lack of work-life balance: Constantly prioritizing work over personal time.
Unclear expectations: Not knowing what is expected or facing conflicting demands.
Monotony or lack of recognition: Feeling like your work is meaningless or unappreciated.
Personal life stressors: Financial problems, relationship difficulties, or caregiving responsibilities.
Work-related burnout is officially recognized by the World Health Organization (WHO) as an "occupational phenomenon" and is defined by three main dimensions:
Exhaustion – feeling drained, empty, depleted, and lacking energy.
Cynicism/Detachment – mentally distancing from your job, feeling negative or indifferent.
Reduced Professional Efficacy – feeling unproductive, incompetent, or that your work doesn’t matter.
National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that burnout remains a national concern. Per NAMI’s 2024 Workplace Mental Health Poll in January 2024: Half (52%) of employees reported feeling burned out in the past year because of their job, and 37% reported feeling so overwhelmed it made it hard to do their job.
Parental Burnout
Parental burnout has been described within three distinct aspects:
An overwhelming exhaustion related to parenting and your role as a parent
Feeling emotionally distanced from your children
A sense of ineffectiveness as a parent; feeling unsure of your ability to parent well
While parenting can be wonderful and rewarding, it can also be a source of tension, stress and worry.
In a national survey conducted in April 2024, it was reported that a broad majority of parents experience isolation, loneliness and burnout from the demands of parenthood, with many feeling a lack of support in fulfilling that role.
About two-thirds (66%) felt the demands of parenthood sometimes or frequently feel isolating and lonely.
About 62% feel burned out by their responsibilities as a parent.
Nearly 2 in 5 (38%) feel they have no one to support them in their parenting role.
Nearly 4 in 5 (79%) would value a way to connect with other parents outside of work and home.
What does parental burnout look like?
Common causes of parental burnout:
Imbalance of demands: burnout arises when the demands of parenting (like constant needs, sleep deprivation, or household duties) outweigh the resources available to cope, such as support, time, and energy.
Overload: The sheer volume of parenting and household responsibilities can be overwhelming, leaving little room for self-care.
Financial pressures, balancing work with caregiving, and juggling multiple roles can create ongoing stress that wears down a parent.
Lack of Support: Insufficient help from a partner, family, community, or friends can increase the burden on a single parent or couple. Asking for help can be challenging.
Perfectionism: Holding unrealistic expectations of oneself as a "perfect" parent can lead to feelings of inadequacy and burnout.
Internalized Pressure: A desire to provide the best possible opportunities for one's children, often fueled by past unmet needs, can also contribute. This may lead to overscheduling children resulting in additional demands for the parents.
Personal Health: The parent's own physical or mental health challenges can decrease their capacity to manage parenting demands.
Child's Needs: Children generally have a lot of needs, especially children with particularly emotional, academic or medical challenges can be demanding.
Societal Undervaluation: For some parents, particularly stay-at-home mothers, a lack of recognition for domestic and caregiving work can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout.
what is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a mindset characterized by setting excessively high standards and being overly critical of oneself. It often leads to chronic stress, procrastination, and low self-worth. While striving for excellence can be a strength, perfectionism—where nothing ever feels "good enough"—can lead to chronic stress, self-criticism, and ultimately burnout.
How Perfectionism Contributes to Burnout:
Unrealistic Standards – Setting unattainable high expectations that leads to pressure and disappointment.
Fear of Failure – This can be an intense and persistent fear which can result in avoiding an activity or scenario where there is a potential for failure, such as a job interview or an exam.
Overworking – Spending excessive time on tasks, even minor ones, leads to exhaustion.
Difficulty Delegating – A need for control makes it hard to share tasks or ask for support, increasing workload.
Lack of Satisfaction – Achievements feel hollow because there’s always “something more” to do.
Self-Criticism – Harsh inner dialogue drains emotional energy and motivation.
Signs of Perfectionism-Induced Burnout:
Chronic fatigue and exhaustion
Loss of motivation, even for things you once enjoyed
Feeling like no effort is ever "enough"
Increased anxiety, frustration, or irritability
Difficulty making decisions due to fear of making mistakes
Therapy for burnout & perfectionism: Effective Approaches
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is one of the most effective treatments for both burnout and perfectionism.
For Burnout: Helps identify and reframe negative thought patterns about productivity, work, and worth.
For Perfectionism: Challenges unrealistic standards and fear of failure, teaches self-compassion.
Examples:
Reframing “I must always do things perfectly” to “Doing my best is enough.”
Addressing all-or-nothing thinking (e.g., “If I don’t do this flawlessly, I’m a failure”).
2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Focuses on accepting difficult emotions and committing to values-driven actions.
Helps individuals learn to live with imperfection and discomfort.
Encourages mindfulness and self-awareness.